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the hedgehog song [26 Feb 2006|06:39pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Hi guys just thought this song off the internet was pretty funny, it's based on stuff from terry pratchett books and is about trying to bugger hedgehogs.


You can bugger the bear, if you do it with care,
in the winter, when he is asleep in his lair,
Though I would not advise it in spring or in fall--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


If you're feeling quite coarse, you can bugger the horse,
or the palfrey, the jennet, the stallion (with force),
You can bugger the donkey, the mare, or the mule,
Though to bugger the pony is needlessly cruel.


You can bugger the ox (if you stand on a box)
And vulpologists say you can bugger the fox,
You can bugger the shrew, though it's awfully small--
but the hedgehog cvan never be buggered at all.


Herptologists gasp you can bugger the asp,
Entymologists claim you can bugger the wasp.
If an insects your thing, man, then just have a ball--
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


And the elephant too, that you meet in the zoo,
Can be buggered if you are sure just what to do,
You will need a large mattress upon which to fall--
but the hedgehog cvan never be buggered at all.


You can bugger the bees if your down on your knees,
You can bugger the termites with terminal ease
you can bugger the beetle, the ladybug (bird!) too,
there's no end to the buggering that you can do.


You can bugger the cat if it isn't to fat
You can bugger the rabbit you draw from your hat
You can bugger the shark that you've chased in your yawl--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


You can bugger the ermine, and all other vermine,
like rats, mice, and roaches, if your not discernin'.
You can bugger the dog, it will come when you call--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


Although Mr. Tiggy is not very big, he
Avoids with great ease those who fancy his arse.
He just curls in a ball, shows his prickles and all--
And the would-be seducer leaves himin the grass


If you're that kind of fool, and you have a long tool,
Do it with a giraffe, if you stand on a stool,
Catch a yeti, who lives in the snows of Nepal--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


For the hedgehog escapes the posterior rapes
Performed upon others of different shapes
Those who run, swim, or slither, they get it withal--
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


It is said, if you try, you can bugger the fly,
Or the swallow as it skims so skilfully by,
Use a noose or a net, or lime (if you've the gall)--
but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all


You can bugger the cow (I will not tell you how),
Or the boar, or the piglet, the shoat or the sow,
You can bugger the ass as it stands in the stall--
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


You can order or shoo 'im, or run a knife through 'im
The one thing you cannot do is stick it to 'im.
If you try to seduce 'im, you'll end in a fix,
His prickles defend him against rampant pricks.


You can bugger the ram, you can bugger the lamb,
You can bugger the ewe, though the wether's a sham,
You can bugger the tiger (it may caterwaul)
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


You can bugger the seal, you can bugger the eel,
You can bugger the crab, though they say it can't feel,
You can bugger the bat as the night casts its pall,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


You can bugger the snake (hold it down with a rake),
Though to bugger the quetzal may be a mistake.
You can bugger the billy, the nanny the kid,
But to bugger the hedeghog just cannot be did.


You can bugger the slug, though it messes the rug,
You can bugger the different species of bug,
Or do it with a snail, if you slow to a crawl,
But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.


At the end of the day, when you've had your rough way
With all of those creatures, you'll just have to say
"That damned Erinaceous has been my downfall--"
For the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!
Cheep as chips

Christmas and stuff [29 Dec 2005|06:49pm]
Hi guys soz I ain't updated much, had a really good christmas got some really cool stuff off Loz(she got me a dead nice Ben Sherman watch) and sum gud stuff off my mum and Dad too. Met up with Rob 2day was really nice to see him but he's gone sooooooo Dadish!!!!
Cheep as chips

Mount Cracken [29 Nov 2005|03:02pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Hi people, I'm sure you've read about the disasterous day we had yesterday on Loz's journal. There was quite a funny incident that happened earlier in the day though. Me, Loz and Pru were on the bus and the man in front of us stood up and his trousers were half way down his arse. Pru said you could've posted a letter in that Crack. It was also very hairy. I feel very sorry for the old lady in front of us who was directly behind the offending arse and had it starring her in the face lol.

Cheep as chips

List 12 things that bring you joy [26 Nov 2005|08:50pm]
[ mood | okay ]

List 12 things that bring you joy

1. Loz (obvious one)
2. Ahing
3. my guitar
4. reading nerdy books
5. AC/DC
6. hugs from Loz
7. Talkin to Pru
8. not watching Alfie hump teddies(he's just had his knackers off)
9. Cheese
10. Havin slobish days
11. cowd nights
12. Frappachinos

Cheep as chips

Hi [17 Nov 2005|09:11pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Hi people Loz has made me a live Journal! I might not update much but it's nice to be in the community lol

4 bobby dazzlers Cheep as chips

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